Some writings I did while living in Lisboa
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Somewhere between here and there I have always been alive,
without actually knowing how or why.
It all came to me that night,
that night when we both cried.
We cry silently you and I,
alone,
away from eachother,
so the other won't hear.
Beacause we both know hearing is pain,
the pain of knowing too much.
The pain of never telling the truth.
Hiding,
fearing,
fleeing.
Sometimes,
if the wind isn't too strong,
and the rain stops for a moment,
I can hear you.
I can hear you whispering sweet words out in the emptyness,
longing for me to hear them.
And I will respond,
for a short second you will be silent
and we can both hear the echo of our words out there,
in the darkness.
And then the sun will rise again over the desert.
The sand will shine in all its red and yellow colors
and whirl up against the blue horizon when the wind starts to build up.
The grains will fly across continents, across oceans.
Like running horses over the plain they will approach you,
and like my gentle hands they will embrace you
just like we used to embrace eachother
before I became one with the Earth and you disappeared into the Sky.
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Late nite conversation in the kitchen wit Alec the Serb:
A:-So, do you always sing, or only when you are happy and in love?
L:-I always sing, it makes me happy. But right now I'm in love but not happy.
A:-Oh, that is a strange combination. How can you be in love and not happy?
L:-Well, I need to sort things out right now, it's kinda complicated.
A:-Yeah, once you close one door, another one opens up.
L:-Well, my problem is; I opened a door without closing the other one.
A:-Aha, well, the doors are not really the problem you know.
You know you can't be in two rooms at the same time, at least not with both feet.
L:-No that's right, most people can't. But I have this ability to bend time and space, which makes it possible, the only thing is; you damage the rooms pretty badly, they can't handle the forces that well.
A:-I see, well time and space is already bent, so by bending it more, you just straighten it out, but only for yourself. As long as the rooms don't have any ability to rebend themselves away from the forces pressing them down, this world is just being damaged by messing with such a thing as time and space.
L:-You are completely right. I need to be in rooms that have the same abilities as me, or I have to tie down my abilities, it's hard, there are not many of those rooms in this world. But will tying down my abilities still make me a whole person?
A:-What is the worst? Unhappy or not whole?
L:-I think being not whole might make you unhappy too.
A:-Well, then you have to choose the lesser of two evils.
L:-Yeah, it's all about choices, not actually which options you have.
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I am sitting here thinking.
Thinkig about what to do.
Just been scanning the employment ads.
Don't like what I see.
Never find anything I like.
For what is the perfect job
for a person whose ambitions
is to take over the world?
Media mogul?
Religious leader?
Military dictator?
I cant find those ads.
"Do you want to be the boss?
Do you want the world under
your feet?
We got the right job for you!"
And in that case, who are "we"?
They who write the add.
Will they just betray you?
Will you become a puppet?
So I ask myself again, do I really want to take over the world?
Yes I do.
I want to change the world.
Change the people.
Make the mindless in to geniouses.
Make the sad ones in to the laughing and dancing ones.
Make the rich help the poor, make the polluters stop polluting,
ask the right questions, wait for the right answers.
Which are?
Kill them all! Kill the not submissive ones!
Torture those who won't follow!
Enslave the people!
Give them no information!
Let them live like animals!
Let the suspicion rule! Let hate flow!
We are not humans.
We are beasts.
Half angel half animal.
Where is my add?
